I’m a Dallas-based writer and public radio reporter for KERA. I worked as a daily newspaper reporter for more than a decade and most recently worked for the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services.
Caregiving has been a subject near to my heart since my father suffered a stroke in April 2005. From that day on, my older brother, Xavier, and I became responsible for shuttling our parents to doctor appointments, surgeries, the grocery store and visits to our homes. We ran their errands, called in their prescriptions and helped them with house chores and repairs.
My father passed away on June 23, 2011. But we’re still doing all of the above for my mom. Somehow, we have managed to do these things while working and handling our own family responsibilities. It hasn’t been easy. We’re often physically and emotionally exhausted, just like many caregivers. The past nine years have been tough, but the experience with our precious parents has also been rewarding.
When I began the blog in March 2010, I had hoped it would become an outlet and/or resource for others faced with the daunting task of caring for their parents. With a full-time job and caregiving duties, it’s been challenging to blog regularly. After my father’s death, I found it difficult to write anything at all. But I do plan to continue documenting these experiences when I can. At the very least, these posts will serve as a reminder of this period in my life.
In 2012, my essay Growing up with Silvia was published in Ten Spurs, a literary nonfiction journal published by the Mayborn Graduate Institute of Journalism. It’s about growing up with an older sister who is battling a mental illness. You can read the essay here as well as the story behind it.
You can also find me on Twitter at @StellaMChavez.
My Parents' Keeper 
I’m so proud of you Chica. What a wonderful tribute to your parents and I know so many people will take away lessons from what you have experienced.
Happy Birthday Mrs. Chavez. I miss you all and miss your wonderful home-cooked food. That’s one of the things I remember most about my visit and how you and your husband made me feel like family.
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Thank you, Deborah! I’ll let me my mom know. I’m sure that will make her smile.
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Stella,
Our mutual friend, Christy Gilfour, forwarded me this link yesterday. I’m so glad she did. Just last Sunday my siblings and I had a “family meeting” to discuss care for my elderly mom, who has become increasingly in need of our assistance over the last year. And, not unlike your family, we are somewhat spread out. Most of my siblings (myself included) live in the Austin area while a brother lives in SA, where my mom still lives by herself in her house. We are in the process of trying to get my mom moved closer to us, but we are experiencing quite a bit of resistance on her part. Your words have been helpful and I plan on sharing your blog with my family as well as several of my friends, who find themselves in a similar position with their aging parents. I hope you are well, and wish you and your family the best in caring for your parents.
Peace,
Matt
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Matt! It’s nice to hear from you. I’m sorry to hear about your mom. It’s so tough to see our loved ones age and experience hardships. It’s wonderful though that you and your siblings are working together. That’s so important. Thank you so much for reading and for sharing your story. Keep me posted and all the best to you and your family, too.
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Stella: What a sweet, touching blog you are writing. It must be like chronicling it in a journal, but one to the world, a world in which I think you are probably helping many others cope. The links to other sites make it so handy to reach out. I’m sure your parents understand the great sacrifice you and your brother are making, and I’m sure they are so proud of you. There’s a place in heaven for people like you. Hang in there and stay well yourself — and remember to run, walk, whatever! Much love, Lenore
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Thank you, Lenore! That means a lot to me. So glad we reconnected and were able to swap stories about our moms. And yes, exercise is the best medicine! :)
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Stella,
I love your blog!! It’s informative, interesting, sweet, and touching!!!! Life has so many turns and road blocks, as well as wonderful moments. Make the best of every visit with your family and know that I support you and all your decisions 100%! Your heart is your GPS navigator. Keep following it; as it will lead you to what’s right each and every time! Not only is there a place in heaven for you, but God has reserved the VIP section just for you! Keep inspiring us all!!!
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Gracias, amiga! I don’t know about the VIP section for me, but definitely for my mom. :)
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What a wonderful blog you’re writing, Stella, and what a touching story this is. Your dad must be a great man to have given you so many tender memories, and I admire your courage and honesty in sharing your pain at the loss of his comprehension at the moment of a triumph he would have longed all his life to see.
Keep up the great writing!
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Thank you for the kind words, Howard. And thank you for reading! It means a lot.
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Stella, this is the first time I’ve seen your blog and it is great as well as comforting. Thanks for sharing your stories. And what a great writer you’ve b
ecome.
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Jon, thanks so much the kind words. That means a lot. You were my first editor, and I haven’t forgotten the great advice you gave me back then.
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